


In this world so cruel

by Cats_the_one_eyed_ghoul



Category: Tokyo Ghoul, tokyo ghoul :re
Genre: Gen, Just randomness from my brain, KANEKIPEDE, centipedes, flashbackes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-02 09:06:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4054396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cats_the_one_eyed_ghoul/pseuds/Cats_the_one_eyed_ghoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasaki Haise is a calm, kind, and gentle person but what happens when Arima and the Quinx first see the storm hidden in lost memories</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just randomness with Haise and the Quinx

Saiko could hear a door closing and thought 'yes he's home now time to see his reaction to my prank!' Saiko had gotten the brilliant idea to prank Sasaki but for some reason no matter what she did he didn't respond to it. He didn't even respond to the fake blood prank that had horrified everybody else. But today she would prevail for she had the scariest bug in the world set up in a glass container in the main room. Yes she had set up a centipede

Sasaki was tired. He had just come back from a praticulary stressful meeting regarding serpent and just wanted to fall asleep on the couch because his room was too far away. 'Looks like the others are all asleep' thought Sasaki sleepily. He took off his jacket and hung it up on the coat rack befor trudging into the main room before he got on the couch he noticed something and his vision went white with fear.

When Saiko heard the scream she knew her plan had succeded. The other Quinx rushed out of their rooms and seeing Saiko they stopped and demanded to know had happened. Saiko quickly calmed everyone by explaining that it was a prank it then she heard something off. The other Quinx heard it to. It sounded like someone was hyperventilating and soon after they heard a thud." Oh sh*t" cursed Saiko as she quickly ran downstairs. What she saw horrified her.

As soon as Sasaki saw the centipede his mind went blank with fear. He started hyperventilating but he couldn't get enough air. After he hit the ground memories flooded his mind. He started clawing at his ears just to get it out. He could faintly hear footsteps near him and cried out for them to help him. When they asked what was wrong he screamed " GET IT OUT IT HURTS SO BAD" He curled up into fetal position and started to cry. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew there was no reason to be so scared or be saying things like that but he didn't care. The only thing he could feel was the overwhelming fear.

Saiko had no idea what to do. The rest of the Quinx squad was down there scared of what was going on. "Someone call Arima" yelled Saiko who was now panicking. She had no idea what "get it out" meant but she could tell that Sasaki was in extreme pain. Shizaru had come back from calling Arima by the time Sasaki had calmed down. While Sasaki wasn't destroying his ears anymore he was still curled up and shaking in fear. 

Around four minutes later Arima arrived and when he saw Sasaki liked this and was told what had caused it he had a puzzled look on his face. 'It makes no sense' thought Arima 'if Mukade was afraid of centipedes why was he like one and why such a strong reaction?' After Arima had completely calmed Sasaki down he sent the Quinx to bed planning to interrogate Sasaki in the morning


	2. What was he in the past?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shizaru starts to wonder about Sasaki's past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank everybody who left a kudos they fill me with joy knowing someone acatully likes my stories. I will try to post chapters every day so look forward to it

Shizaru was searching through the CCG files for any info on Sasaki's past. While he knew he might get fired if he was found out he was just so curious. It was interesting enough that Sasaki's past was shrouded in mystery but the fact that even Sasaki himself didn't know his past made it much more intriguing. He had thought about asking Arima but quickly dissimissed the idea realizing that Arima would never tell him. 'Why am I even doing this' thought Shizaru 'there probably aren't any records of him in here anyway much less suspicious ones'. Truth to be told he had been looking through the archives for days. Shizaru had always wondered about Sasaki's past but the incident with Saiko made home wonder 'what really happened to mess him up so bad'. Shizaru sighed and opened up the next file.

After three more hours of strenuous searching Shizaru finally made it to the E-D file. As he got to the end of the E section he noticed something. There was a file on a ghoul named "eyepatch" but the ghoul's name was not listed. Shizaru was puzzled. Every single file that he had gone through earlier either had a no-name or the ghoul's name. This file only said eyepatch there was no name or any clue to the name. Even weirder the ghoul had been marked as erased, which was not a status he had seen on any of the other ghouls. 'That's odd. It's like they're trying to hide something' thought Shizaru. Sighing to himself he examined to boy in the picture. The boy had a shy look on his face and seemed to be wearing a barista uniform. He had jet black hair and slate gray eyes. 'His eyes look like Sasaki's' noted Shizaru as he continued reading. He also had an eyepatch over his left eye and was holding a cup of coffee. As Shizaru started reading he noticed something he had never seen before. Many of the words in the paragraph had been blacked out and completely unreadable. Out of the words he could read Shizaru got that he was a rinraku type ghoul and used to go to Kamii university. He worked at a coffee shop named Antikeu but went missing right before the Aogiri raid and appeared breifly during the Antikeu raid. The only other sighting was by Amon Kotaru. 'Never heard his name before' mused Shizaru in the CCG it wasn't uncommon to not hear of a certain investagator. As he read his eyes widened "The ghoul let me hit him until he almost died. He then unzipped the zipper over his mouth on the mask and bit me. He then slowly let out his kagune and proceeded to fight with me. I lost" Shizaru said to himself. He cringed thinking that this was how he died. He read on expecting to hear that Amon had died instead his eyes widened at what he saw "He broke my quinqe and threw it across the pavement. I prepared to fight but he told me to run. He looked like he didn't have control of himself and was shaking. He told me to run claiming that if the fight continued that I would be killed. I was about to say that that was ridiculous but I looked up at his face and saw that he was crying. The ghoul said six words that still haunt my memory today. He said please, don't make me a killer"~ Amon Kotaru. "Wow" said Shizaru aloud "A ghoul spared his life" this changed his perspective on ghoul's a little bit but he still knew a number of them were evil and needed to be killed. He tried to read the words that were blacked out but it was impossible to read them except for a few at the end "for more information see Mukade"


	3. What was he in the past? Or 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of what was he in the past

'For more information see Mukade' thought Shizaru 'why would they have more information on him in another file' to Shizaru this made no sense but he still went to open up the M-N file and quickly saw what he was looking for. "What" said Shizaru under his breath. He was now very puzzled. He had assumed that the people would be the same but the pictures were very different. The boy now had an insane look on his face and had discarded his eyepatch. He could now clearly see the singular black and red eye. "A one eyed ghoul" said Shizaru to himself in genuine surprise. He had assumed that the eyepatch was because of the boy injuring himself but it all made sense. He had a skintight battle suit under his cloak that seemed to be extremely ripped up. He went to the text that still did have a few words blocked but he was able to get more words than he was able to on the other text. There was still no name but the status had been changed to confiscated. "Confiscated" said Shizaru he had never seen a status like that and had no idea what it meant but instead of dwelling on it he started reading the file.

As he read the normal stuff he noticed the guy was just like a normal ghoul until he found a certain article with Amon and Shinohara in it. The article started out in Shinohara's POV and ended in Amon's. Shizaru started to real aloud "I was about to finish off the ghoul known as Black Rabbit when suddenly there was a flash of white and then black and the rabbit was gone. I had no time to lose as I searched for the other ghoul. He was fast until he started running on the roof of the place." 'Running on the roof' thought Shizaru 'he needs to be extremly fast to do that'. While he was quite frazzled by the information he was reading he read on "As he ran at me I expected my Arata to take the hit for me. I could still feel the pain under all that armor. I soon realized that he was not a normal ghoul, he was kakuja." Shizaru was shocked 'a kakuja? Those things are powerful this guy's going to die!' As he continued reading he was shocked "As I continued battling him I eventually hit him when he jumped at me. I thought I can got him but his healing was ridiclously fast. As he got up he started saying disturbing things. I remember him saying three thing very well he said 'my fingers in a bucket, there's a centipede in my ear'. 'A centipede in his ear' thought Shizaru remembering Saiko's prank and how Sasaki had been furiously clawing at his ears and screaming to get it out. The two scenarios fit together perfectly. Shizaru shook his head to clear his thoughts. 'It's impossible right' he thought 'there's no way that Sasaki was like this in the past' "The ghoul then asked me one final question that I still don't understand to this day. He said 'What's 1000 minus... 1000 minus... 7'. He then cracked his index finger using his thumb" 'like Sasaki' noted Shizaru "he trapped me in between his centipede like kakuja and normal tentacle knocking me out." Shizaru was frazzled. 'The information matches perfectly with Sasaki and yet.....' He sighed to himself and started reading Amon's POV "I came to make sure Shinohara was okay but what I saw was extremly disturbing. A ghoul with four red tentacles and two more that looked like centipedes was eating Shinohara's Arata. I realized that this is was eyepatch and was overcome with rage. I ran towards him while he was distracted and I cut off all of his Kakuja. As he tried to run I trapped him and asked if he was in fact just a normal ghoul. He gained a more sane look on his and started crying stating that he didn't want to eat anymore. As I was about to kill him the one eyed owl appeared and took him away." As Shizaru finished reading this information he heard a click of a door and the frazzled Shizaru ran.


	4. Arima's wondering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Although Arima knows many things what happened to Sasaki Haise or should I say Kaneki ken in the past is not one of them

Arima was waiting impatiently for Sasaki's ears to recover so that he could ask Sasaki why he reacted that way to just a simple bug. At first Arima said he was going to do it for the good of the CCG but soon Arima realized why he wanted to know. Yes the CCG's reaper was curious. Kaneki Ken and Sasaki Haise were a mystery to him. From what he knew Kaneki Ken or the SS class ghoul Mukade was ruthless and showed no mercy to anyone taking pleasure in one's suffering but Sasaki Haise, who was supposedly the same person, was kind. He was not only kind he was gentle and paitent. He loved books and would always use his free time to get and read books. He had a love for making puns and was easy to see as a parent yet he was just an insane killer who had his memories wiped....right? He knew that couldn't be true. There must have been something that changed him for the worse because someone who is kind and gentle doesn't just all of a sudden become a merciless killer who enjoys slaughter. Arima sighed and went to the archives to sort out some information on serpent.

As Arima opened the door with a click he heard a person run out. Arima was confused for a second but realized that it was most likely one of the Quinx searching for information on Sasaki. 'Oh well' thought Arima 'I'll ask them later' as he started to pull out the S-T files the I-J files fell out and spilled all over the floor. "Great" said Arima. He was annoyed because his curiosity was bugging him but he coul do nothing about it. Sighing he set the S-T files on the table nearby and began cleaning the files up not caring if they were in alphabetical order or not. After he was half-way through the files he noticed one that caught his eye. "Jason" muttered Arima. He had heard of the ghoul but never done a full exnamation of the ghoul. Realizing it might help sate his curiosity he opened the file and started reading.

From what these papers said he was first spotted back when he was only and A class ghoul and was sent to cochlea to be "rehabilitated". He was promoted to S rank after escaping and killing his own tourturer and SS when he single ha deeply slaughtered a bunch of ghoul's and took over the 13th ward. He had a love for torture and would ask the same question His torturer would ask to keep his subjects sane. " what's a thousand minus seven" said Arima aloud. He felt like something with this story was connected to Sasaki but he couldn't put his finger on it. Sighing he put away the rest of the files and continued working on the serpent case.

Arima kept glancing at the clock. He was anxious to know if Sasaki had learned anything from the incident and thought about scolding Sasaki for being late but the realized that he had gotten there 40 minutes early. Groaning at his own stupidity Arima decided to write down what he knew about Kaneki Ken and Sasaki Haise and started sorting out the similarities and the differences. 

Sasaki walked into the room to see Arima furiously scribbling onto a notepad and he seemed to have a deep look of concertration on has face. Since Arima obviously wasn't going to notice him he sat himself down and said something that could get him fired but he couldn't resist.

Arima's thoughts were broken with a person yelling "NOTICE ME SENPAI". A frazzled Arima quickly looked up ready to fight the intruder but he saw Sasaki's giggiling face instead. He quickly put two and two together and flushed from embarssement. How could have he forgotten about what he had been waiting for for the past four days and why did Sasaki have to yell something so embarrassing to get him to notice him. He quickly got his composure back and started the interragtion. "Sasaki do you know by you reacted so strongly to the...prank a few days ago?" Asksed Arima. "I don't know why" said Sasaki in a quiet voice "I don't know why and it scares me. I don't want to hurt or scare anybody and I'm afraid it might happen again." This answer puzzled Arima but he didn't let it show. It was perfectly natural to be afraid... But to not know. Arima shook his head ' he obviously doesn't have any memories of that but he may of other things. "Did you gain any new memories asked Arima. "No " started Sasaki "I don't even remember the incident very well" " okay said Arima " you are disimissed". After Sasaki left he slunk down in his chair. He wanted information that he knew he might never get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for anybody who even spares a glance at my story. Even if it doesn't seem like it all the chapters will be tied together at one point


	5. Urie's song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this new song sounds like someone's situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for everybody who left a kudos and thank you Luce for leaving your comment I'll try to make these chapters longer so I might only post one a day.

Urie would never admit it but he was scared. He wasn't scared because he might not get a promotion he was scared because of Sasaki's incident earlier. He didn't want to see someone react so badly to a simple thing that everybody else's could see with out freaking out easily and it scared him. To try and claw off your ears and to harm yourself just by seeing something was unthinkable to him but just last night he had witnessed someone, his superior, harm himself for almost no reason. He sighed 'I need to listen to some music to get this off my mind' thought Urie. Picking up his headphones and his IPod he started up his playlist. Surfing through his songs he looked for one he wanted to play. When he couldn't find a song that he wanted to play he tapped the recommended button he scrolled through the songs his eyes stopping on a song he had never seen before "Doughnut hole by Gumi" said Urie aloud. He sighed knowing he had nothing better to listen to and clicked on the song.

The song had an odd opening of drums and what sounded like a distorted persons voice was surprisingly catchy and Urie was now starting to look foward to the song. After around twenty seconds the lyrics started up

"Itsu kara konna ni ooki na"  
(When this I get these memories)  
Omoidasenai kioku ga atta ka  
(These big ones I can't remember)

Urie quickly shut off the music. The lyrics sounded too much like Sasaki's situation. His heart racing he set his iPod down and decided to go to the training room to train for a promotion. 'Yeah' thought Urie 'a promotion is all that matters......right?'. He hadn't seen Mutsuki at all since the incident. The poor boy was most likely holed up in his room. Urie wished that Sasaki would be here to train them, to talk to them, to comfort them but he was in a hospital waiting for his ears to heal, another reminder of the incident. Urie also wanted information. People don't just break down for no reason over a small thing. Although he was insanely curious he knew that Sasaki probably didn't even know the answer and Urie didn't want to trigger another incident like that one. Knowing that thinking about these things would get him nowhere he decided to try to sleep.


	6. The simple spar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was just a small spar between two people.... So what went wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you For anybody who left a kudos. Sorry if the last chapter was disappointing I'm really tired but I hope this one helps

Around a week after the "incident" Sasaki had fully healed and everybody had gotten their life back on track. While nobody had completely forgotten the incident it was now in the back of their minds. Since Sasaki was still recovering from the incident and a bit rusty so instead of Arima completely obliterating him in a spar Arima decided that Juuzou should spar so that Juuzou and Sasaki could get some training in. The rules were simple spar until one can no longer continue or one gives up. Juuzou was allowed to use his quinque but Sasaki was not allowed to use his kagune. They are not allowed to kill each other. With simple rules what could go wrong?

Juuzou couldn't wait to battle. He had heard that Sasaki was strong so he might be challenged. He even got to use his quinque! He didn't know what it was but Sasaki reminded him of a child he met before...maybe on the streets? Juuzou didn't know he didn't keep track of things like that. He tugged on the red thread by his lip. 'There's something familiar abou him but I don't know what' thought Juuzou. 'Oh well' Juuzou didn't really care as long as he got to battle someone strong.

Sasaki was sad. He had just finished healing up and hadn't been able to get in contact with the Quinx squad. He hoped that Akira had been helping them out but he had no idea if she even took a second to think about the Quinx squad. Sighing to himself he started to get ready for the spar. Doing his stretches and mentally preping himself he now was ready to spar. Before he left he checked his clock making sure he was on time. He was glad he checked. He had around an hour before he needed to leave and would have made himself look like a fool if he had gotten there that early. Sighing he pulled out his book that Arima had recommended to him and continued reading. Around fifty minutes later Sasaki put down his book and got ready to leave. He knew that he would be early but he couldn't focus on his book and the earlier he left the more time left in case of an accident.

There had been surprisingly little traffic on his way here and only one or two red lights he had to stop at so he got to the place about fifteen minutes earlier than he had expected. Arima and everybody else who were going to be observing the fight were already there. The only person who was missing was Juuzou the one he was supposed to spar with. One of the observers either was able to read the atmosphere or really liked cracking jokes because he soon said "Hey Arima. Isn't that the guy who screamed 'notice me senpai' in your office a few days ago?" Even the most stoic of guards let out a small chuckle while others fell over in laughter. Sasaki felt his face heat up in embarssement and even Arima dropped his stoic mask for a second to be suprised and then quickly put it back up. As the last of the guards were getting over the joke Juuzou burst in through the doors. "SASAKI" screamed Juuzou as he lunged at Sasaki. " hi" said Juuzou while still being on top of Sasaki. Sasaki told Juuzou to relax and that he could have candy after the spar. After all everybody at the CCG knew how long it took for Juuzou to finish his candy. Juuzou agreed with that and started getting ready for the spar.

Sasaki couldn't shake the uneasy feeling he got when he saw Juuzou's quinque. He believed that it was called Jason. The long scythe like quinque looked sharp and nasty to anyone but to Sasaki for some reason just the name made him feel a surge of fear and the quinque itself made his stomach do flips. Pushing down the uneasy feeling he decided to just spar anyway, after all there was no reason to be scared of it. The RC suppressants that would shoot at him if he were to use his kagune or loose control were much scairer than Juuzou's quinque.

Soon the fight had started and of course Juuzou was the fist one to make a move as he charged at him with a scythe almost bigger than him he doged and quickly counter attacked by trying to kick him in the side. Juuzou however was able to see through this move and quickly moved foward to get into a blanced position before charging in again. Both boys were fast with Juuzou being faster but the scythe limited his movement and decreased his speed giving Sasaki the slight advantage but so far neither boy had landed a hit on each other. As Arima and the others watched they noticed slight mistakes in footing or a bit of hesitation before attacking that most people would say didn't matter but a slight mistake like that in their line of work could get them killed. They all knew it was only a matter of time befor they realized each others mistakes or made some of their own.

Juuzou was the first one to make a mistake. He hesitated before he turned around after he had blocked an attack from Sasaki and reciving a nasty kick to the head as punishment. Juuzou had quickly cotton up and gone for a counter attack trimming his opponent into assuming that he was going for an attack with his scythe and instead using his flexibility to kick Sasaki in the face. If Sasaki was a normal opponent he would have been thrown off by the kick and forced to change his whole fighting style but since he was not a normal opponant this trick only worked once. After the first mistake the bay's had made many other mistakes that had helped them learn how to counter certain stragites other ghouls might use.

As the fight continued both boys had injuries but they were all either fall damage or bruises left from kicks and punches. Right before Arima was about to call the training session because both boys seemed tired Sasaki made a huge mistake. He had gone for a counterattack with a high risk and Juuzou had seen through it. While he was able to retrace this hand before he lost his hand his index finger had been chopped clean off. Juuzou stopped and Sasaki went to look at his hand and felt something run loose in his mind. 'A screw Maybe?' Thought Sasaki he had no idea why but he felt like laughing so he did. He threw his head back and let out a long insane sounding laugh. After he finished his fit of laughter he said "now it's my turn" as he charged at Juuzou. He didn't have his kagune out but he was a lot faster now and was landing hit after hit on Juuzou taking no damage to himself. When Juuzou finally was able to counterattack Sasaki started mumbling and screaming odd things "CRAWLING CRAWLING THROUGH MY BRAIN THE PLIERS ADDING TO MY PAIN" screamed Sasaki "mother the carnations have been dyed red". Juuzou withstood the furious barrage of attacks Arima and the observers stood there speachless. "Quick somebody" screamed Arima "you need to turn on the RC suppressants NOW". All he could do was watch Juuzou get beaten by the insane thing know vaguely as Sasaki Haise. " WhATs A thOUSaND MinUS seVEn" screamed Sasaki in a distorted voice. Soon after the RC suppressants were turned on and he passed out saying a few words be fore he did. "It's all my fault" he mumbled "I'm weak that's why everyone will get killed" he was now struggling to stay conscious but managed to say four words before he fell into a dream less sleep "I.... I will ...save ..... Everyone" he than collapsed. Arima knew he shouldn't has had Juuzou spar he knew that it was a bad idea but he went through with it. All he need to figure out now was how to explain what happened to Sasaki when he woke up.


	7. Accepting the facts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arima knew that one day the facts would be steeled and that he couldn't run from what he knew happened to Sasaki Haise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the follow up chapter that I actually am writing on a computer (All the other works were written on my ipod) I hope you enjoy

When Arima actually started to think about the sparring incident he realized something. At first he believed he had heard it wrong but when he went to playback the recording of the fight he could hear it loud and clear in Sasaki’s voice over and over again. The clearly insane sounding ‘what’s a thousand minus seven’. Arima always assumed that some kind of trauma had happened to Sasaki in the past because he had Marie antoinette syndrome but he had assumed that it had turned that color because of stress not because of what he was theorizing. Before he could assume anything though he needed to check the archives.

When he got to the archives he realized that his hands were shaking in fear of being right. Pushing down his feelings and putting on his normal stoic mask. He opened up the J-K file searching for a certain ghoul’s name. It wasn’t that Arima didn’t remember the file he remembered it and remembered it well but he was in denial. He refused to believe that what he thinks happened to him actually happened to him. He quickly found the ghoul that he was looking for. “Jason” mumbled Arima, in all honesty he was not looking forward to reading the file and finding out if his theory was right but at the same time he was extremely curious. Sighing knowing his curiosity would win the internal struggle he opened the file and started reading.

He started reading aloud to make sure he didn't miss anything “Jason a ghoul who was captured and tortured by one of the greatest tortures at the CCG. After he killed his torturer he became a torturer himself asking all of his victims the same question ‘what’s a thousand minus seven’”. Arima let his eyes fall down. He had known that it would be like this. Truth to be told he had suspected it from the very start when he had first taken out Mukade. The way he had said everything he said had showed that he was insane and at first Arima accepted the fact that he had most likely been tortured but as time went on and he saw the sweet innocent boy for who he was..... he just couldn't accept it. Seeing the vast difference between the same boy was heartbreaking. Mukade was completely insane and would smile as he tortured and murdered your whole family but Haise..... He was so kind and gentle and patient. He'd seen people who'd been changed into a heartless killer from this job but they still had morals and weren't insane. Most of these people also had a goal that drove them to be like this but Sasaki Haise or should I say Kaneki Ken just disappeared and came back insane, heartless, and a killer. Sighing to himself he started on a new topic before his train of thought made him too depressed. Now that he knew Sasaki had been tortured the question was why did nobody search for him, why was the CCG not told about this, and how long was he there. Arima assumed that Sasaki had been there for a while to turn him into the broken person he had become but if so why was there not a search party for him? Shaking his head to clear his thoughts he started reading.

"Killed during the Aogiri raid, supposedly by Juuzou" said Arima aloud. It didn't actually say that he was supposedly killed by Juuzou but Sasaki must of at least knocked him out or almost killed him to escape. Arima continued reading to see if they found if Sasaki had killed him. "Is now Juuzou's quinque" Arima clicked his tongue " That makes sense" said Arima aloud. He had been wondering why Sasaki reacted so much to the finger he had lost. Now that he thought about it that was the first and last injury Sasaki had gotten with that scythe. He had to make sure Sasaki was never near Juuzou's quinque. As he read on everything that didn't make sense had started to all fit together like the pieces of a puzzle. " Jason's main weapon were two pliers that he held in each hand". Arima suddenly remembered Sasaki's loudest comment while he was insane. "Digging Digging into my brain the pliers adding to my pain". Well he had found out what the pliers ment but what was digging through his brain?

Arima thought for a while before everything clicked in his head. "The pranking incident" mumbled Arima. He remembered Sasaki's desperate pleas of 'get it out' and 'it hurts' and how he clawed at his ears all which were caused by seeing the centipede. Finally he had completed the main puzzle. When he thought about it he started to feel depressed. Jason had purposefully put a centipede in Sasaki's ear to torture him, to make him feel that pain but knowing that he wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Arima felt like crying. He knew how kind and gentle Sasaki was and he knew that he didn't do anything to deserve the pain but it was in the past and he could do nothing about that. Knowing that he still had questions to be answered before he broke down he put down Jason's file and went to the E-F section. Pulling out the Eyepatch file he quickly skimmed through the words noticing how there were slight crinkles in the paper that seemed to be in the shape of a person's thumb. He ignored it though knowing that what he was searching for was much more important. He finally found the date when the Kamii college student had disappeared and then compared it to the date of the Aogiri raid. "okay so he was tourtured for" Arima froze. That was impossible. Someone doesn't go insane in that short amount of time, much less how insane Mukade was. "Okay calm down" said Arima to himself "i'm sure I just looked at the date wrong or did the math wrong there's not way that's posible". He looked at the date again and subtracted the two dates. Arima had no idea what to think anymore. " Ten days" he said to himself " in just ten f*cking days he was tortured to the point of insanity". Arima let the stray tear fall down his cheek. 'Those ten simple days where everybody else was minding their own business and thought that everything was okay ruined this kids life' thought Arima 'he can no longer continue college, his friends most likely moved on, and he was in more pain than imaginable. He suddenly remembered Haise's words before he passe out 'I will save everyone' thought Arima. What kind of burden did this kid put on himself! Arima now knew that one simple decision was what turned his life around. The decision to go on a date.

As Arima left the depressing area he checked the clock noticing how it was 11pm. As he walked through the halls he received many looks and comments. "Isin't that the reaper?!" said some ladies to his left to his right there was a new investigator who he could hear whispering "please notice me senpai". At these words he was reminded of Sasaki and felt saddened. If the boy had never become a a ghoul maybe he would have finished college gotten a job as a writer or a different high paying job that suited him. The poor boy HAD been turned into a ghoul though. Forced to endure torture that he never deserved. Arima laughed to himself a bit remembering one of the things Sasaki had said to him when he asked what kind of genre of book he would be. "well" responded Sasaki "I'm not a protagonist of a story or a novel or anything. I'm just an investigator who likes to read but for arguments sake if I were to play the lead role it would certainly be a tragedy." 'Well Sasaki' thought Arima 'looks like you are already in a tragedy' Arima chuckled a bit at his dark humor. before exiting the building and trudging to his car. Right now his mind was heavy. He had no idea what to do with the new information. If he told no one he would eventually explode and tell someone and Sasaki might hear. Sasaki didn't deserve to remember the torture he had been put through so he couldn't keep it a secret. If he told someone they might tell Sasaki himself or hold it over his head if they wanted something. No matter what happened he knew that Sasaki would eventually find out but he wanted to wait as long as possible before Sasaki learned the truth. Call him selfish but he wanted to keep Sasaki around as long as possible and the Quinx squad loved him. If Sasaki knew he might leave the Quinx squad and hate him for making him forget who he had to protect. Arima also didn't know if he would be able to fight Sasaki. It was easy to kill Mukade, after all he was a bloodthirsty ghoul but Sasaki...... He stopped thinking. If he continued his thoughts they would take a turn for the worse so he decided that he would forget about the whole ordeal and tell Akira in the morning.


	8. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth may be slowly coming out but it will be known someday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update I had swimming and homework holding me back. I also got sucked into reading and rereading "That's what I'm Afraid of" by CaviarandWasabi so try checking that story out. Here's an extra long chapter to make up for not posting in a while

Most of the people at the meeting were nervous. They tried not to show it though because the reason for their nervousness was none other than Suzuya Juuzou. They had all heard rumors of the carefree looking but merciless boy who slaughtered his enemies without fear or hesitation. The meeting had been calm until the boy spoke up. “Where’s my candy?” complained Juuzou. He had been promised candy but he never got any after the fight. Juuzou continued talking unaware of the atmosphere in the room “Sasaki had promised me some after the fig- I mean spar but I never got any”. He put up a face similar to pouting but under that face the investigators could see the real meaning, he was annoyed. After that the meeting had continued considerably silently while some people tried to offer Juuzou jelly beans and while he took the jelly beans he was still waiting for Sasaki’s candy, after all his candy was the best!

After the meeting finished Juuzou started walking down the hall not really paying any attention to his surroundings he ran into Arima. An apology on his tongue he looked up to see the sullen face of Arima. Changing what he was going to say he started talking. “Are you okay?” asked Juuzou realizing how unfamiliar those words sounded to him. Apparently Arima agreed because he had a look of shock on his face. Although the expression was brief Juuzou felt proud being able to something depressing off someone else’s mind for once. Arima quickly got over the shock and replied with a forced sounding “I’m fine”. Juuzou wasn’t great at reading people but anyone could tell that he was not alright. Juuzou ignored that for the time being and tried to figure out what was bothering him. “So” started Juuzou “How’s Sasaki doing?” At this statement Arima tensed up and his face fell. “Oh” thought Juuzou “That’s what’s bothering him. “ it didn’t take a genius to realize that Sasaki was bothering him. Juuzou tried to comfort him. “You don’t have to worry about Sasaki, he’s strong y’know” said Juuzou as he started to walk away. As he was walking away he could hear a faint “that’s not it” but choose to ignore it. After all there’s no use asking Arima for information.

Arima was actually quite surprised that Juuzou had been able to read him and even more surprised at his attempts to comfort him. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts he headed towards his original destination, The Quinx squad house. When he arrived at the house he was greeted by three very eager faces and one nonchalant one. Quickly realizing this person was not the one they were hoping for their faces fell. Urie was the first to speak “What brings you here Arima?” asked Urie. He was hoping Arima was here to give him a promotion but judging by his creastfallen expression Arima did not have any good news. “Actually” started Arima trying to look a bit more cheerful “I’m here for information.” Everybody wondered what kind information Arima needed that he didn’t have but Mutsuki spoke up first “What kind of information do we have that you don’t have access to.” Everybody was taken back by the boy’s bluntness but Arima seemed unfazed. “I need information on Sasaki.” Most of the Quinx squad had no idea what to think but Saiko had other ideas. “I know you and Sasaki had something going on but I never thought you’d ask us for advice” said Saiko smugly. While the Quinx were still processing the information Arima blushed a bit and replied “I don’t know what you mean” and unknowingly made it worse. “Oh come on Arima,” started Saiko in a teasing tone “We all heard Sasaki and you in office the other day. He was quite loud when he screamed ‘notice me sempai.’” The quinx flushed red at the assumption she was making but decided to stay out of it afraid of the CCG’s Reaper’s wrath. 

Arima stood there with his mouth open and a light pink dusting his cheeks realizing what Saiko had assumed. He cleared his throat and started talking. “ This is just a test to make sure he is still in control of himself and won’t harm anyone here.” Arima knew that that didn’t sound believable at all but it was the best he had. While Saiko didn’t buy the excuse one bit she decided to let it go in favor of knowing what he wanted to ask. “So,” started Saiko with curiosity laced into her voice “What did you want to ask us?” Arima had been quite surprised that she had let that go but continued with his original question. “Have you noticed anything weird about Sasaki?” After Arima said it he realized that the question could be rather suggestive but the quinx didn’t seem to mind. Urie was the first to talk. “His hair is weird” suggested Urie “Whenever he’s sad it’s down and flat but when he’s happy it’s floofy.” The quinx squad had to hold in their laughter at what Urie had said. It was funny how the “All mighty Urie” had noticed an odd thing and had described his hair as “floofy”. Arima mentally faceplamed and asked again if anybody had noticed anything but this time in a more serious tone. Mutsuki was the first to speak up this time. “I have noticed that whenever we eat burgers and specifically burgers he gets the kind of longing stare and blanks out for a few minutes.” Said Mutsuki. While he had no idea if this was the kind of information Arima had wanted he had said it anyway. “Yeah” said Shizaru adding on to Mutsuki’s thought “and sometimes when he sees some things he says he gets a small headache and goes to sit down. Other times he just goes to sleep afterwards.” 

That was the information Arima had wanted to hear. That meant Sasaki had shown signs of remembering but never really remembered anything. “Anything else?” asked Arima. He doubted that there was anything else but if he didn’t ask he would never know. Surprisingly Saiko spoke up. “ While he’s sleeping he sometimes mutters things” said Saiko with a straight face. Arima could tell that she was serious and actually involved in the conversation. “What does he say?” asked Arima. He knew that these questions could be considered intrusive but he needed information. Saiko seemed hesitant before answering but she still spoke up. “He says things like ‘it hurts’ or ‘I will protect them and sometimes he counts backwards from a thousand saying things like ‘993,986,979 I want to die’. I have no idea why he says these things though.” Said Saiko timidly. Although she didn’t want to admit it she was scared. Some of the thing he said were not pleasant. While everyone sat in silence at what Saiko had said Shizaru tried to lighten the mood. “Hey Saiko” asked Shizaru in a teasing tone “How do you know what Sasaki says in his sleep? Are you a stalker or something?” Saiko realizing what he was trying to do replied with “I’m not just any stalker, I’m Sasaki’s personal Super Stalker! I know everything he does and watch every move. The reason I stay up all night is so that I can sneak into Sasaki’s room and steal his clothes!” Everybody except for Arima burst out laughing with Saiko’s ridiculous statement. Arima could feel the smile on his face as he enjoyed the moment with the teenagers. For once he felt like he could actually talk and spend time with the quinx without it being awkward but realizing what time it was and knowing he had work to do he bid the quinx good night.

After Arima left the quinx couldn’t help but wonder why Arima needed that information and the only one who had the slightest clue was Shizaru. To him the pieces of information were slowly falling into place fitting like a puzzle. Arima let out a sigh as he looked back at the door of the quinx house. He really wanted to stay and chat but he had more important matters to attend to. As he walked towards the CCG building he noticed Akira leaving and decided to ask her the same question. Akira was just finishing work and heading towards her apartment when Arima called her over. He hadn’t realized that he was there so it had somewhat startled her when someone called her name out of nowhere. After she had walked over to Arima he asked her a strange question. “Have you noticed anything strange about Sasaki?” asked Arima. Truth to be told she hadn’t really noticed anything strange about Sasaki so she responded to Arima to know why he had asked that question. “No, why?” asked Akira. Arima gave her the ‘what do you think look’ and she realized why he had asked. “No” said Akira “you don’t think he’s-“ “yeah he might be relapsing” responded Arima. Akira felt her whole world come crashing down on her. If Sasaki got his memories beck then he might turn into the evil ghoul he was before. “Mukade” whispered Akira clearly remembering the look of insanity on his face as he face Amon in his Kajuka form. The boy was so kind the way he is he helped others as much as he could and was patient with those who needed time. Like Arima Akira had grown attached to this version of the ghoul and couldn’t imagine killing him. If he truly was relapsing they would have to be more careful about what they exposed him to.

Arima could see the troubled look on Akira’s face and realized that she also didn’t want to kill him. He knew that he was going to regret what he was about to say but Akira had to know. If he didn’t tell her he would tell someone else and Akira was the one he trusted most, so he opened his mouth and began to speak bracing himself for the wrath of Akira. “You know” started Arima. Akira was hoping that Arima would tell her that he was okay, that he wasn’t going to regain his memories, Akira was hoping Arima would comfort her. What she heard was the exact opposite. “ There is a lot of proof that he was tortured in the past.” Said Arima in a calm but shaky voice, like he was trying to keep his voice calm. Akira felt her blood run cold. She could fell the tear dripping down her cheek and the only thing that was keeping her composure together was the small bit of hope that it wasn’t a long or really bad torture session. Her voice cracking she let out a small “By who”. Arima looked away and Akira could immediately tell that it was bad. “Jason” replied Arima almost losing control over his emotions. Akira on the other hand broke down crying, turning herself into a sobbing mess. Somewhere in the back of her mind she was thankful that her co-workers had all left and nobody except for Arima would see her like this. He was such a sweet boy he never deserved any of this but fate could be cruel.

Looking down at the sobbing mess that was Akira he could make out small words such as “Why him”, “he is such a sweet boy”, and “he never deserved any of this”. Arima sat down and wanted to try to calm her down by telling her that it was just a theory but he couldn’t tell a lie. There was so much proof it was almost certain that he had been tortured so he sat there rubbing circles onto her back and telling her that he had forgotten and it didn’t haunt him anymore. Akira knew that it was stupid but she couldn’t help but feel guilty. It was the CCG’s job to help humans and he was half human so they were responsible for him. As she continued to sob into the night Arima sat there providing her a small level of comfort.


	9. The Rain is cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the aftermath of the night Akira sent in the rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I had no time in between end of the school year party at swimming and end of teh year at school so it might seem a bit short

Akira woke up with a slight headache. “What happened?” she asked herself out loud. Secretly she was hoping that she didn’t have a hangover because if she did today was gonna suck. Remembering last night she blushed. Arima had been somewhat comforting her because of….She immediately felt saddened remembering what she had been told last night. “Sasaki deserved none of that” she mumbled to herself as she got out of bed realizing she had to feed her cat. After she got up she felt woozy and dizzy. ‘I might not want to go to work today’ thought Akira. All these thoughts were giving her a headache and just walking around she felt sick. ‘Must have been sitting in the cold yesterday’ she thought while feeding her cat. Petting her softly she thought about who to call. She first thought of Sasaki but then she remembered he was still in the hospital meaning her only option was Arima. Not realizing what time it was she picked up her phone and called Arima. On the third call he finally answered. “What do you need Akira?” asked Arima in a tired voice. Akira had to hold in her laughter hearing the almighty reaper with such a tired and groggy voice. After she calmed down she responded. “ I need you to tell my squad that I’m sick today and can’t come to work.”

On the other side of the line Arima pinched the bridge of his nose. “You could have texted me or done something other than call me at this ungodly hour!” said a frustrated Arima. He rarely got time to get a good night’s sleep and this was one of those days so when he heard his ring tone (remember it’s rolling girl by Hatsune Miku it will be important later on) he let it ring until it annoyed him enough for him to pick it up. “What do you mean at this ungodly hour?” asked Akira “isn’t it like 6am or so?”. Arima sighed ‘she really has no idea what time it is’. He responded back in a more gentle voice “Akira, please check the clock and then tell me what time it is” Akira looked back to check her alarm clock. Her eyes widened as she saw it. “Sorry Arima” she said with sincerity “I had no idea it was 3am”. “Don’t worry about it just…. Check the clock next time please” responded Arima sleepily. He hung up and trudged back to bed to get another three hours of sleep.

At the Quinx apartment the poor teenagers were all up wondering why their mentor was in the hospital and they were given no information. Normally when Sasaki was in the hospital the Quinx were the first to be told why he was there and when he would get out, but with this case they weren’t told anything not even when he would get out. The Quinx had assume that their mentor would come home like any other day when Arima had popped in to ask them some questions. Realizing that Sasaki was not going to be home that night they ordered take-out and had tried to go to bed. By 2am the had all come down to the kitchen realizing that their mentor was not home and had not told them where he was they assumed he had gotten hurt and was at the hospital. After they assumed that he was in the hospital they realized they had no been told anything and started panicking. Saiko sighed it had been hard to calm Mutsuki down but now they had no idea what to do. “how about we search social media for any rumors of what happened to him” suggested Urie with a blank face. Even though you couldn’t read his emotions through his face anyone could tell by his tone that he was as curious as the rest of the Quinx. “ That’s a good idea Urie” said Mutsuki “ but I don’t think any of us have any social media accounts.” At this comment Saiko cleared her throat. “I think I can help with that”

“Saiko I know that you’re a major gamer” said Shizaru with awe “but how do you have a twitter, instagram, facebook, snapchat, oovoo, pintrest, flikr, youtube, and tumblr account and be able to keep track of each one and be popular on each one?” “I dunno I just play on my phone a lot” responded Saiko with a bored look on her face as she searched through facebook status updates. “Here it is” said Saiko as she started to look at the thread. As everybody crowded around Saiko Mutsuki exclaimed “That was fast and why are CCG members giving out private information on facebook?” Saiko took a second to look up at him with a bored look and said “Anything said on facebook by a CCG member can only be viewed by another CCG member and this conversation about Sasaki is one of the longest threads on facebook so it’s on the front page.” Seeing that everybody understood how she found the information she started reading aloud. “’Did you hear about the spar today?’ ‘Yeah I heard it was between Sasaki and Juuzou’ ‘Those monsters?! I bet they destroyed the whole sparring area’” All of the Quinx squad scoffed and a few wanted to find out the names of those investigators and punch them in the face. Saiko realized what they were thinking and quickly said “These people don’t know Sasaki or Juuzou personally, they might just be going off rumors.” Seeing that a few weren’t going to buy it she decided to continue reading.

As she continued reading through the thread she realized that almost none of these comments were nice. While the Quinx squad didn’t train and meet with Juuzou regularly they knew that he was somewhat kind and not like what everyone else says. Although were pissed that they were spreading bad rumors about Juuzou they were more pissed at what they had been saying about Sasaki. With Juuzou’s comments there were some truth to them, he may have had a past like that but they had no right to say anything about Sasaki. What they had been saying was not only wrong, but the exact opposite of how Sasaki acted. Sasaki was kind, gentle, patient, and loving. These people were saying he was a cruel worthless monster who deserved to be killed. Shaking her head she decided to give the basis of the information to the rest of the squad. “What’s taking so long?” asked Urie. The members of the Quinx squad were starting to get impatient. Saiko ha been reading for five minutes and not giving them any information on a topic they needed to know about. “Well for your information princess Urie” teased Saiko “If I gave you that actual comments you’d go and murder most of the people in the CCG.” Mutsuki quickly realized what she had hidden in that comment. “That bad?” asked Mutsuki. When Saiko had commented she said it so that if you actually took what she said into consideration you would realize that it would make the person who cared least for Sasaki go on a rampage for what they were saying. “Yeah it’s bad. They are saying the exact opposite of what Sasaki is like and insulting with every chance they get.” Responded Saiko with a grim look. What they were saying was horrible but they would never admit to saying it in real life and would accuse the Quinx of snooping. Sighing to herself she started to give out the information she had gotten.

“From what I see Juuzou and Sasaki sparred and…..something…….happened…….and Sasaki and Juuzou were both put into the hospital. Sasaki for an overdose of RC supressents and Juuzou for intensive injuries.” Said Saiko. Everybody tensed up at the information. One person who was human had taken intensive injuries while the other, a half-ghoul, had a RC suppressant overdose. “Hey guys look” said Saiko with surprise “Another person commented!” At this all the quinx quickly turned around and started reading the comment. “Yeah the fight was fine until Sasaki got his index finger cut off by Juuzou’s quinque……” The quinx immediately had a lead. ‘Since a quinque is made from a ghoul maybe the ghoul made from the quinque had something to do with Sasaki’s past’ thought all of the quinx. As they were deep in thought trying to remember if Juuzou had told them what ghoul his quinque had been made out of Shizaru had an idea. “TO THE ARCHIVES” yelled Shizaru snapping all the quinx out of their thoughts. Even after having their thought rudely interrupted all the quinx agreed they needed answers to their questions and they were all in the archives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter and I hope I can post the next one sooner


	10. Truth in Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted a bit earlier than normal but it's hard to write in between 5 summer swim team and 7 winter swim team practices a week (not including swim meets) but I got a really long chapter. I'm also thinking of starting a new fic but I just have a bunch of ideas in my head. Whatever. hope you enjoy :)

After the quinx finally arrived at the archives they quickly looked around making sure nobody saw them entering. 'This feels like one of those moments where you have to enter a door but can't be seen during a video game' thought Saiko. She didn't see anyone or hear any footsteps so she quickly told them to enter. "C'mon guys" whispered Saiko barely loud enough for them to hear " quick before someone sees us." With this the quinx ran through the open door and silently closed it. When they entered the room they immediately noticed that the I to J file was a bit open. Being the curious teenagers they were they decided to open up the file. As they quickly scanned the file Mutsuki noticed something at the beginning of the J section. "Hey" said Mutsuki noticing that the other quinx had completely overlooked it " This file looks a bit suspicious." They other quinx went back to where Mutsuki and noticed that there was a slightly crinkled file that had been messily shoved into the file cabinet. 'How did we miss this?' Thought the other quinx. Clearing their thoughts they pulled out the file and started to read. " Name: Jason, Status: Deceased, Current location: Juuzou's quinque." Read Shizaru out loud noting that they had figured out their original question. Sadly figuring out their original question left them with two more. ‘How was Jason related to Sasaki and why was this article like that?’

Saiko, seeing that Shizaru was not going to read more, snatched the article from Shizaru’s hands. “Hey what gi-“ yelled Shizaru but was cut off by Urie. “Well you obviously weren’t going to continue reading so she decided to let us see what was on the documents” Shizaru looked like he wanted to argue but decided to let it go realizing that he was right. As Saiko read through Shizaru and all the other quinx noticed how he was just like a normal ghoul who needed t be exterminated….until they got to the third page. Mutsuki’s eyes widened as he scanned the third page. “Guys look” said Mutsuki timidly’ “ At the end of the page there are slight crinkle marks and there are water marks in the second paragraph”. The quinxs’ eyes widened as they realized that he was right. They easily noticed that the watermarks were in the shape of tear marks. ‘Well someone didn’t like the information’ thought Urie. While he was as intrigued as the others he would never show it. “Just read the paragraph” said Urie angrily. While he didn’t care about Sasaki or his past it was too interesting to just leave alone. Saiko seeing that all the others wanted to see what had made someone upset enough to cry started reading again.

“Lets see” said Saiko “Was tortured in cohecla for a while and gained two habits from his time. The first is cracking his knuckles using his thumb.” At this Shizaru’s eyes widened. ‘That’s impossible though’ thought Shizaru ‘You don’t just get habits from your torturer.’ Convincing himself that it was just a freak coincidence he continued to listen. “The second habit is….. forcing those who he tortures to count back from a thousand by sevens or, in other words, asking the question ‘What’s a thousand minus seven’” Shizaru could feel the tears dripping down his face but he didn’t even care. “That’s not possible right? There’s no way that’s possible” muttered Shizaru. “Oi” said Urie in a firm voice “The heck are you crying about” While Urie may not look like it he was concerned and interested. Nobody just breaks down for no reason and Urie wanted to know the reason. Shizaru drew in a shaky breath and slowly pulled out two files. One from the E-F section and one from the M-N section and set them down on the table.

The other quinx were puzzled but Mutsuki went for the file that had the name “Eyepatch” on the front and Saiko went for the file saying “Mukade”. Shizaru silently pushed Saiko’s hand down telling her to read the other one first. When Mutsuki opened the file they all noticed something. “Hey are you f*cking kidding me?” said Urie aloud. Although none of them described what they were thinking quite like Urie, they were all thinking the same thing. They easily saw how similar their mentor and the shy boy on the profile were with the only differences being that the boy in the picture was obviously younger and wearing an eyepatch, but in this picture you could easily see that the boys hair was a complete jet black. Even with these differences it was obvious that they were the same person or at least related. They quinx had never seen anybody else with that exact shade of grey eyes. They weren’t a murky gray like others had but they weren’t a bright silver, they were more of a murky silver color. As they read the paragraphs they noticed more things that this kid, Kaneki Ken, had in common with their mentor. (If you want to read the actual paragraphs go back to chapter 2 and 3) For example, they both were kind and spared lives. They both loved books and would protect what they loved. While the quinx didn’t know for sure if this “Kaneki Ken” was who their mentor was in the past but there was a lot of proof that he was. After reading the parts of the document they could read they were still puzzled. “Shizaru, why were you crying and why did you get out this other document?” asked Saiko. After Shizaru broke down they had not heard a word from him and they were starting to get worried. Silently he pointed to the bottom of the paragraph where the blacking out seemed sloppy and had faded. With some difficulty Urie began to read it. 

“For more information see Mukade?” said Urie aloud. The other quinx now realized why Shizaru had gotten out the other document but it still left them with some of their original questions and a few new ones. “Why the heck would they put more information on the same ghoul in a different document” whined Saiko “I don’t feel like opening up anew document and reading all of it.” This comment brought a small smile to the quinxs' faces. While Shizaru was feeling sad and depressed all the other quinx knew something was in that file. Something kept secret that may be gruesome or terrifying. Sighing Mutsuki opened up the file because Saiko wasn’t going to read and Urie had read most of the other file. He went to look at the status but was shocked at what he saw. “What’s wrong?” asked Saiko seeing Mutsuki’s face. “T-the picture….” Said Mutsuki with fright. There were multiple possibilities running through his head right now with all of them now being good. Seeing that Mutsuki was not going to respond they decided to look at the paragraph themselves. “What the heck!?” yelled both Saiko and Urie. The boy in the picture was definitely Kaneki Ken from the earlier document but he was way different. His hair was now white and longer than it had been before. He also had is left eye uncovered exposing only one ghouls eye. Something told Mutsuki his hair was not dyed or bleached. “Marie Antoinette syndrome” muttered Mutsuki. This time Saiko was the first to speak up. “What’s Maire Antoinette syndrome?” asked Saiko in a soft voice knowing that if she asked in her normal tone he would either lose his train of thought of become somewhat frightened. “Marie Antoinette syndrome is when someone’s hair goes white from the stress that person puts on themselves” Was Urie’s reply. Bothe Saiko and Mutsuki were shocked that Urie knew something like that but decided not to ask in favor of reading the document.

“What kind of stress would this kid have to go through for his hair to turn white anyway” thought Mutsuki out loud. While he knew that the wouldn’t get an actual answer. “Maybe he worked to hard at the coffee shop he worked at.” Suggested Urie. Mutsuki mentally facepalmed. He knew that he wouldn’t get a good answer but that was ridiculous. “Urie I highly doubt that” said Saiko with a bored look on her face “Shizaru has most likely figured it out and that is why he broke down. If it was just that then Shizaru wouldn’t have started crying much less break down.” The two continued to bicker possibilities until Mutsuki told them to stop knowing that they would be getting nowhere. As they read through the first page the were shocked. The same person who had once been caring for others and gentle beyond belief was now easily fighting and threatening some of their most powerful investigators, but never killing them. ‘What happened to the boy that had would have changed him that much?’ thought Mutsuki. ‘While our job changes the hearts of people who work here most still kept their old personality. This boy had done a total reverse! He had no traces of what he used to be like and would most likely never change back.’ Wondering how long this change happened he compared both of the files. “What are you doing?” asked Saiko in an annoyed tone. She wanted to figure out this puzzle and Mutsuki just snatched the file away from her! “I’m trying to see how long it took for the change to take place,” replied Mutsuki “If it took place over a long period of time it could just be stress from what he did but if it was a short period……” He trailed off not wanting to mention the possibilities. The rest of the quinx went silent realizing that this could be a crucial part of their research. 

“So Mukade was first seen during the Aogiri raid and Eyepatch went missing….” Mutsuki’s eyes widened “That’s not possible” muttered Mutsuki “T-there’s got to be some kind of mistake.” “What’s wrong Mutsuki.” Asked Urie in a concerned tone. Realizing that he could be ruining his ‘I don’t care about anyone’ attitude he continued with “Too much info to handle?” At this time both Saiko and Urie were concerned. Mutsuki looked like he was going to break down and the ever talkative Shizaru had not said a word since he broke down. “Ten days” said Mutsuki in a soft voice that nobody could hear. Seeing that Mutsuki had moved his lips but they had not heard anything Saiko asked “What? I can’t hear you.” Finally after a long minute Mutsuki drew in a shaky breath and said more clearly “Ten Days.” Saiko, Urie and Shizaru were shocked. Shizaru broke down again and started sobbing. Shizaru didn’t care if he was embarrassing himself, he just couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Guys maybe we should just read to prevent Shizaru from getting any sadder.” All of the quinx agreed that they not only wanted to prevent Shizaru from breaking down again but because they themselves were curious.

When they picked up from where they left off they noticed that he had no records of human kills but had a long list of ghoul kills. “Hey do you think that he ate ghouls to survive? Bothe Urie and Mutsuki realized that there was a huge possibility that he could have done that which would mean he had been holding on to his humanity, which meant that he still had a small bit of his old personality. Sadly that also meant that his old personality could be drawn out making it more likely that he could have been Sasaki. “Guys” said Saiko in a sorrowful tone “It might be easier if we just accept the fact that this was Sasaki in the past.” Everybody knew she was right but what if something bad happened to him in the past it would be easier to just believe that this was a different person and Sasaki had nothing to do with this but it also hurt them to see so much proof and just pretend that there was no way this person was their mentor. 

Reading on they finally found the section where people had told of their encounters with the ghoul. Sadly this section was short only being half a page long. (Again read chapters 2 and 3 for the paragraphs) While they were reading they noticed a lack of information to answer their question….Until they were in the last section of the paragraph. “M-my fingers i-in a bucket.” Read Urie aloud. He was starting to become disturbed. Reading this out loud forced him to actually look at the words and understand them and now that he did he felt like throwing up. He steeled himself and started reading the next sentence “T-there’s a c-c-centipede i-in my ear” While Mutsuki and Urie were too busy being disturbed to remember anything else Saiko, having been used to this from video games, realized that this sentence answered one of their major questions. “Guys” said Saiko in a small voice “This answers a bit of why Sasaki was scratching at his ears during the incident” Even though she had said this little did she know that they both had considered it in the back of their mind. “What’s a t-thousand minus seven” read Urie aloud. Everybody felt their blood run cold. “Are you f*cking kidding” said Urie while he felt tears run down his face “why…just why would anyone do this to him.” Nobody understood why he had been captured and tortured but for now none of them cared why he was tortured. The only sound that was in the archives was the loud sobbing from all four of the quinx squad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and if anybody was wondering (I bet nobody was) I do have a pintrest account that goes by the same name as this account. (I also have a smule sing account but that goes by Cats_the_ghoul) I really hope you have an awesome day and will see you later:)


	11. Re-Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for Sasaki to wake up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG!!!!! I had a vacation for a week so i didn't get a chance to update and then I had a bunch of swimming training for the sandbox meet. If anybody's wondering how I did I got the state cut in 200M free (2:31.77 for exact time) and bonused 100M free (1:11.09). I also finally got the state cut in 400M IM dropping 7 seconds from 2 weeks ago for a final time of 6:04.76! I made finals 3 times with 8th in 200M back, 7th in 100M Back, and 5th in 400M IM! I am going to start another story soon so look forward to that! Also this might be one of the last chapters for this story Enjoy :)

The first thing that Arima noticed was that the quinx seemed angry, tired and depressed at the same time. While Arima was no expert at reading emotions or facial expressions he knew something serious must have happened for the quinx to be so upset. “What’s wrong?” Asked Arima. The quinx looked shocked at the question but then quickly became angered. “You freaking knew didn’t you!?” Said Shizaru with a loud but wavering voice. “You knew but you kept it a secret. Does Sasaki even know!?” Shizaru was about to cry but Arima didn’t care. He felt his blood run cold at the last statement. ‘Did they figure out that his memories were wiped?’ Thought Arima ‘ Oh sh*t what if they figured out that I “Killed” him.’ Realizing that there was no way that they could have figured that out he calmed himself down and said “I don’t understand what you’re saying, what’s wrong?” The quinx calmed down a bit but Saiko said something that finally made him understand what they were trying to say. “I want to hate you so much for keeping secrets from us yet………You saved him didn’t you?” Said Saiko as tears rolled down her face “They say ignorance is bliss and if he doesn’t know it cant haunt him can it?” Arima understood what she was trying to say. “So you found out didn’t you.” Said Arima in a sorrowful tone. He was going to tell them eventually but it still made him sad to think about it. Seeing the quinx wanted an answer he said “Come with me.

When Sasaki woke up he first noticed the sharp pain in the back of his head and eyes. Putting his hand to the back of his head in an attempt to alleviate the pain he started to observe his surroundings. “Why am I in the hospital?” thought Sasaki. He didn’t remember what had happened but for some reason there were multiple memories floating in his mind. “I-it hurts” Haise clutched in his mind. “I-it hurts” Haise clutched his head in pain. “K-Kill me PLEASE!” Haise had no idea what was going on. 'Are these my memories?" Thought Haise. While he didn't know what these memories meant he knew that he had some kind of connection to them. It was that he remembered what they were and how he got them he just knew they sounded too familiar to be a dream or random thoughts. "ITS GOING GOING THROUGH MY BRAIN IT HURTS IT HURTS OH THE PAIN!" Haise winced in pain as he heard loud yelling in his mind. After the pain faded he attempted to get up but as soon as he left his position on the floor he blacked out and was dragged into the darkness of his mind. 

When he opened his eyes he expected to see the white hospital walls and nurses and doctors running outside of his room but instead all he saw was a checkered room with blood on the floors. Feeling a little sick he said aloud "W-what is this?" Covering his mouth to prevent himself from throwing up he walked further into the room. After walking for around 3 minutes he was met with a singular chair next to a full bucket of fingers. Looking closer he noticed the chair had a bunch of chains hanging off the back and another bunch near the feet. As he continued observing a figure seemed to materialize and appear before him. "Haise you really don't remember?" Said an unknown voice. He noted that the voice sounded similar to his but had a more cold and distorted tone. Haise not knowing what to say said "who.........who are you?" He was expecting the voice to go into a rage or leave him in silence but the voice laughed. It wasn't a warm laugh full of happiness but it wasn't an insane laugh either it was more of a cold empty laugh of a man who had lost everything. "You know who I am Haise you just don't want to admit it." The voice paused for a few moments to let the information sink in " I am the darkness inside you the one who takes control when you lose it the one who wants his body back, but please call me Shiro." Haise was astounded. 'I will finally have a chance to ask him some questions and see what really happened to me' thought Haise. "Why do you want my body anyway?" Asked Haise in a curious tone. He assumed that the answer would be that he wanted to take over the world or kill the CCG but he wasn't expecting the answer he got.

"There's people that I left behind friends taut I have to protect and Hide.........." The voice trailed off after changing into a sad tone. Haise had no idea who or what Hide was but assuming by Shiro's tone he was important to him. “Who is Hide?” Asked Haise. He knew that saying that was a risky move and the ghoul could attack him but he had to know. When he heard that name three things happened to him. First he felt happiness, not the kind of short-term happiness you get from trying something but a feeling of a bright blinding ball of fluffy happiness. At the same time he felt an unbearable sadness. He felt guilty for some unknown reason and it was tearing him apart. The last thing that he felt was loneliness. When he heard that name he felt alone like nobody knew him or that there was a black hole consuming him from the inside out. He knew that this name was an important part of his past and he was determined to find out.

Arima led the Quinx to Sasaki’s hospital room. He had no idea why he had brought them there; he had just walked there on instinct. Sitting in a chair by Sasaki’s hospital bed he put his hands on his head and started to explain. “I assume that because of the digging that you did you know exactly who Mukade is and the unfortunate fate he was sentenced to.” Looking up for a second to see if the quinx understood he stopped explaining. “What you don’t know is that he has no records of ever harming a human.” The quinx gasped. ‘Then what did he eat to survive?” Asked Mutsuki knowing that ghouls need to eat human flesh to survive. “If he didn’t eat how could he still be alive today?” The quinx all nodded in agreement. “We’re not quite sure how he survived but most signs pointed to the fact that he either ate other ghouls or suicide victims. The quinx were shocked by the news. “But if he ate ghouls……” said Shizaru. Everybody was sitting in silence. Everybody knew the answer to the question but nobody wanted to admit it. “Yeah, he was insane”

“Hide…..” said Shiro in a solemn tone “I miss him.” Although Haise knew that Shiro would most likely turn on him and attack him he stayed and listened. “If you told me what he looked like I might be able to find him?” suggested Haise. At this the ghoul mad an odd sound. Haise was puzzled. He expected the ghoul to be happy or simply turn it down. “Hide…….” Wailed the ghoul “I miss you. Why did you have to leave?’ Haise had no idea what was going on. The ghoul seemed to break down. “What is wrong?” asked Haise. Before he could say anything else Shiro started wailing again. “HIDE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD!!” Without warning Shiro lunged at Sasaki and time seemed to slow down as Haise saw the ghoul’s face. 

The ghoul had a considerably round face with bright silver eyes. His hair was as white as a snowflake and Haise a feeling that it wasn’t dyed. His left eye was dripping blood and his other had tears running down his face. Just as Shiro’s hand was about to connect with Haise’s face the room changed to a field of white carnations. “Sorry about that” said a more fragile voice. Haise whipped his head around to find the voice and was met with something that he wasn’t expecting. The was a boy who looked to be much younger than him in what seemed to be some kind of barista uniform with a sheepish look on his face. He looked almost identical to Shiro but had much shorter jet-black hair. “Usually he’s much more stable than that but you really shouldn’t talk about Hide around him.” Said the boy. He had never heard his tone of voice before like he had with Shiro and was still recovering for the near death experience that he had a few moments ago. “Who are you?”

“Nice to meet you! You can’t know my real name but you can just call me Kuro!” Said Kuro in a cheery tone. “Haise I know it’s sudden but you’re going to have to wake up.” Said Kuro in a more serious tone. While what he said was completely serious by the way that he worded that Haise felt like he had once been an introvert that did almost no socializing. “Why do I need to wake up? I don’t know who you are and I’ve never heard your voice before! What is g-“ Haise was interrupted by a loud rumble. “Listen it’s much easier for your mind to be insane than calm so assuming that you don’t want to be here forever I suggest you wake up.” Responded Kuro with a stern voice “I can’t keep this up for much longer just looked to your left if you think I’m lying.” When Haise looked to his left he noticed the ceiling seemed to be cracking and a red fluid, most likely blood, seemed to be seeping through the cracks. As one of the drops fell onto a flower he watched it spin and turn into a red spider lily. “Don’t worry Haise just wake up and ask Arima-san he’ll tell you what to do.” With this words his eyes closed and he was consumed by and inky dark blackness.

Saiko jumped when she saw Sasaki’s hand move. “Arima-san!’ yelled Saiko “Sasaki’s waking up!” At this comment everybody directed their attention to Sasaki’s hospital bed and waited for Sasaki to show signs of waking up. As soon as Sasaki’s eyes fluttered open Saiko was on top of him and yelling “Maman are you awake! Are you okay! How many fingers am I holding up!” Sasaki sighed and sat up while answering her questions “Yes I’m fine, yes I feel fine, and you’re holding up 2 fingers and a thumb. I’m not blind you know.” As Sasaki sat up he swung his legs over the bed and began to swing them like a child as he began asked questions. 

“What day is it?” Was Sasaki’s first question. While he may not get yelled at fro missing work he hoped that he didn’t leave the quinx alone for too long because after all who knows what they would do without him there. “Here you go!” said Saiko in a cheery tone as she flashed his phone at him. Sasaki sweatdropped. “Saiko I may not be blind but I can’t read that without my glasses and you know that.” Saiko made a noise that was in between a dying walrus and a clarinet squeak and let out a long exasperated “Fiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnneeeeeeeeee.” Starting to get annoyed Urie quickly said “February 7th “ (yes I made that up) Sasaki’s eyes widened as he realized what that meant. “What did you do to the house when I was gone!?” Said Sasaki in a frantic voice. When he saw the sheepish and guilty looks on the quinxs’ faces he put his head in his hands. While they were weapons of the CCG and extremely powerful most people forgot that they were just teenagers who still needed an adult figure in their life. As Sasaki opened his mouth to speak to Arima Arima’s phone range and the song Rolling girl started to play. (See I told you it was important) At first everybody was shocked into silence by the girly ring tone Arima, the CCG’s reaper and ghouls most feared enemy, had. At first there was a small giggle that escaped Mutsuki’s lips but soon it had turned into full-blown roaring laughter. Even Urie was laughing! Every time they tried to stop they looked at Arima’s blushing face and remembered why they were laughing. While it wasn’t all that professional for them to be laughing so much and letting down their guards they couldn’t help it. In a job like this sometimes they just needed to let go.

While everybody was laughing nobody noticed that Arima had silently answered his call and slipped out of the room. Moving his phone next to his ear he answered the call. “Arima something’s wrong!” said a panicked voice. Sighing thinking it was one of his usual tricks he answered with “What do you want now Dr.Ricana (I dunno)?”  
“His RC cells are going off the charts!” said Dr.Ricana in a frantic tone “I haven’t ever seen counts like this from full ghouls who have a fully formed Kajuka!” As this Arima looked surprised “How high has it gone now.” Assuming that it had just been a random RC cell spike caused by him waking up. “You’ll never believe how high it is! It’s gone up to 6,789 and going higher!”

At that comment Arima’s phone dropped out of his hand and his eyes went wide with shock. A few co-workers asked him if he was okay so he replied with a shaky “yes” and tried to regain his composure. He picked up his phone and continued talking to Dr.Ricana. “Are you sure it’s not just malfunctioning?” Asked Arima in a shaky tone. This was much higher than it was when he had first taken Mukade out. “Yes I’m sure.” Responded Dr.Ricana “While at first I assumed that it was an RC cell spike I went to go check the machines to make sure they were working because this was much higher than any spike I had ever seen. After seeing that they were all working I went back and saw that the levels were still rising! I called you because I was wondering if anything had happened to him to trigger this.” Arima sighed “Well he just woke up a few minutes ago but how can you tell how high his RC cell count is in the first place?” “We implanted a chip in him during the memory process that could give us his vitals and RC cell count just in case.” Responded Dr.Ricana in a casual voice. “Good” said Arima in a relived voice “I was afraid you had him hooked up to a machine in there and the quinx would be alerted.” Realizing that he had nothing else to say he said “Tell me if it spikes over 9,000 bye.” With this Arima hung up.

After around three minutes of constant laughter it died down into and eventual giggle and with smiles on their faces the quinx began to catch Sasaki up on what had happened over the week that he had been passed out. “Wait so Arima seriously came over to our house to ask about me!?” said Sasaki with shock. The quinx hadn’t given him any details about what he had asked about so Sasaki was left to guess what Arima wanted to know about. “Oh yeah and apparently you promised Juuzou candy.” Said Shizaru remembering when Juuzou had stopped by asking if Sasaki was awake yet. “Oh yeah I remember making that promise to him!” Said Sasaki while touching his left hand to his chin. He really didn’t remember any of what happened to make him be in the hospital for so long. “Sasaki you’re a terrible liar.” Said Mutsuki with a smile on his face. It had been so long since they had been able to just talk and have fun with their mentor so they were going to make sure that they told him everything.

After around 20 minutes of talking Sasaki remembered what Kuro had said. “Don’t worry Haise just ask Arima.” Excusing himself from the room he went to go search for Arima. After exiting the room he went to the left and crashed into someone “Sorry sir I’m really sor- Arima?” Said Sasaki. The two stared at each other for a few seconds before Sasaki bent over and began to pick up all his things. ‘I’m lucky that Arima wasn’t carrying anything’ thought Sasaki remembering when he had ran into Arima while both he and Arima were carrying files. After Sasaki picked up all of his things they both stared at each other in an awkward silence. “Sasaki I was just looking for you” said Arima breaking the silence. Sasaki trying not to be weird replied with “So was I” After a few moments to regain his composure Arima asked “Was there something that happened to cause your RC cells to spike?” Sasaki looked surprised but replied “Actually I wanted to ask you about something as well”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a fish (Also I have been watching a lot of ink master so tell me what your dream tattoo would be. Mine is a pair of wings that start out a pure white then slowly become black as it ends with a pair of chains that are like handcuffs wrapped around the top.)


	12. Losing it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He can feel it. It's creeping up behind him whispering his deepest fears and insecurities in his ear. Usually he could keep it under control and it had been so long since he had a relapse. Sadly he knew that he could never run from the monster he had become

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO FREAKING SORRY!!! A ton of stuff happened (including a time period where I was sick) and I wasn't able to write at all. I feel so bad for not updating in a month so I'll try my best to update as soon as possible. The main reason that I was not writing was because I found my gameboy advance and pokemon blue, crystal, ruby, and fire red cartridges and since I have had those things since I was seven (a little over half my life) I started playing them again and got re-addicted. I know that I should have updated sooner but for no enjoy the story.

“While I was sleeping” said Haise “There were these two people, named Kuro and Shiro, that I met. Shiro mentioned a person named Hide and Kuro said to ask you if I wasn’t clear about anything.” While Arima knew exactly who Shiro and Hide were he had no idea who Kuro was and how he knew him. Deciding to be somewhat truthful he said “Shiro was a ghoul that I fought in the past. He is also the ghoul that your Kakuhou came from (That second part is the lie). I honestly have no idea who Kuro is though.” Haise put his right hand on his chin “But then how would he know you? Also why was he in my mind?” Arima sighed knowing that neither of them knew the answers and said “I’m sorry Haise I have no idea but I do know that you should go back to get some rest.”

Arima ran back to the lab to see what Dr.Ricana had to say about the rising RC cells. He walked up to a plain looking wooden door and opened it up. Stepping inside he could smell and almost feel the chemicals that filled the air and heard an excited “I’m over here!” to his left. Walking over while pushing the random curtains and tassels out of the way he finally stumbled upon a middle aged man with glasses sitting in front of a giant computer hooked up to multiple tubes that seemed to have strange liquids and blood in them. “So what did you call me here to tell me about?” Asked Arima intrigued by all the unique technology. When Dr.Ricana turned around Arima could see that while his hair looked a light brown in the back it started to turn white at the front. He looked like the normal nerdy scientist with some glasses to complete the look but one of his eyes were red and the other was green. He also had a small scar running under his left eye. “I came here to give you a theory”

Before Haise opened the door he braced himself for the mess that would be the apartment. After opening it a bit he smelt a disgusting smell and sighed mentally. ‘I guess this is what happens if you leave them alone for too long.’ Thought Haise dreading all the cleaning that needed to be done. As he opened the door and looked inside he noticed that the space was relatively clean except for a few games strewn about. Now Haise was puzzled. ‘I don’t see anything that would smell bad’ thought Haise with eyes scanning the area ‘but then why does it sme-‘ Haise’s eyes landed on the kitchen counter which had rice and sushi sitting on top of it. Seeing this Haise wanted to hit himself. ‘Of course!’ He thought ‘it wouldn’t smell bad to them because they can eat it but to me.’ Haise started sulking over the fact that he couldn’t eat human food before remembering how Arima seemed to be in a slight rush. ‘I wonder what that was all about?’ thought Haise before mentally preparing himself to clean up the sushi and rice.

“A theory?” asked Arima. When he was called down there he was expecting to get a new discovery on quinque technology or something of the sort not a simple theory. “Now now I know what you’re thinking Arima” Said Dr.Ricana in a casual tone “But this theory is about why Sasaki Haise’s RC cell count keeps rising.” At this Arima started to become interested. “Why do you think that they are rising?” questioned Arima wanting to know juts what happened while Haise was asleep. Dr.Ricana sighed knowing that of course he would want to know what happened to Sasaki. “You see here before he lost his memories here was his RC cell count.” Arima looked at the number on the screen. “6843” said Arima to himself remembering how he had been able to give him an injury on his cheek. “And here” said Dr.Ricana “is his starting RC cell count that we had found while exploring Kanou’s lab. “2021” said Arima aloud mesmerized by the information he was taking in. “Lastly here is Sasaki’s starting RC cell count.” Said Dr.Ricana ready to explain his theory. “3249” said Arima questioning why he need to know all these numbers. “So what if we considered them as completely different people and personalities that could possibly combine?” Asked Dr.Ricana excited to share his findings.

“What?” Said Arima baffled by the idea. Dr.Ricana sighed. “Okay to make this easier I’m going to call the original Kuro and the pre memory loss Shiro.” ‘Kuro and Shiro’ thought Arima before suddenly realizing that those were the exact names that Sasaki had said. Now realizing that Dr.Ricana might be completely right Arima started listening. “So assuming that they are different people if Kuro and Shiro would combine they would have a total RC cell count of 8864 which is Sasaki’s current count.” Said Dr.Ricana “But my theory is that Kuro and Shiro now live inside Sasaki’s mind hence why some days he will lose control.” When Arima thought about it the theory didn’t really have any flaws and everything made sense so this could actually end up being correct! “So using this theory I can assume that all three are slowly combining creating a ghoul that might be more fearsome than the one eyed owl.”

After cleaning Haise sat on the couch feeling unusually hyper despite just cleaning the whole house. He had only intended to clean up the kitchen counter but after wiping down the counter he found that he couldn’t stop and ended up cleaning the whole house until it sparkled. Checking his watch he was surprised by the time. ’11:40?!’ thought Sasaki ‘Shoot I have training with the quinx in 10 minutes!’ He knew that the adrenaline that he was receiving was due to his mind knowing how fast he had to work but for some reason it felt like something else was urging him on, something a bit more…dark. Since he didn’t have time to figure out what this feeling was he grabbed his coat and ran out the door.

“Worse than the one eyed owl!” exclaimed Arima. While he knew that all three combined would be powerful he didn’t think that they would be worse that the only SSS ranked ghoul in existence. Dr.Ricana looked at him. “When we figured out that an SS class ghoul, the Binge eater, had been killed and her organs were transplanted into a boy we all knew that he would be a force to be reckoned with because he was half ghoul but when he gained his second personality and a Kajuka he was on a whole new level.” Said Dr.Ricana “Now, we know that the boy never intended to harm anyone so what if when that second personality came into play the original hid itself inside their mind to hide the power and to possibly bring the other back to his senses?” “Then that would mean…” said Arima eyes widening. “Yeah” said Dr.Ricana “He’ll lose control once he hits full power and almost nothing will be able to stop him”

Urie checked his wristwatch impatiently “Do you guys know where Sasaki is?” All the quinx looked at Urie with annoyance on their face. “Urie if we freaking knew where he was I would have been hatching charmander eggs hoping to get a shiny.” Sighed Saiko annoyed that she had to stop hatching her eggs to get here. As Urie was about to respond the doors burst open and a ruffled looking Sasaki stood there. The quinx were all surprised by Sasaki’s appearance. His hair was sticking up in an odd fashion, his coat was half on and he still had his reading glasses on! “I’m ….Sorry….I’m ….Late.” wheezed Sasaki. When he saw that he only had ten minutes left he forgot about his car and started to run. He only realized that he could have gotten in his car after he was halfway there so there was no point in turning around to drive here. “Sasaki are you okay!” asked Mutsuki “You look like you ran all the way here!” All the quinx nodded in agreement. “That’s because I did.” Said Sasaki little faster having caught his breath. “So now that I’m here shall we start?”

“The only problem with this is that we have no idea if it’s correct or how to prevent it.” Sighed Dr.Ricana “While we could pump him full of RC suppressants he would either end up in extreme pain, a permanently comatose state, or they may put Sasaki’s personality to sleep and awaken Shiro.” As Arima thought about the options he realized none of them were ethical and would either end up killing him or making him kill himself. “Well then how would the full power be triggered?” asked Arima “If we know how it can be triggered we could prevent it.” “That’s the problem.” Said Dr.Ricana “We have multiple theories but the only one that makes sense would be that if he felt cornered in battle.” Arima’s eyes went wide in fear. Seeing this Dr.Ricana asked “what’s wrong?” “Today is the day Sasaki trains the Quinx to use their kagune.”

“Sasaki are you sure about this?” asked Mutsuki. While he knew that he needed to train to fight with his kagune there was a strange amount of bloodlust in the air. “Don’t worry Mutsuki this room is completely kagune proof and shoots out RC suppressants if one of us loses control.” Said Sasaki making sure Mutsuki was comfortable “Actually now that I think about it this was the room I fought Juuzou in.” Seeing that Mutsuki relaxed a bit he felt relived. ‘I just hope that he doesn’t get too stressed about releasing his kagune. “Guys I can handle any attack that you hit me with so hit me with all your power!”

As the quinx slowly released their kagune Sasaki unconsciously grinned in excitement. He couldn’t wait to train them, fight them, plunge his hands into their guts and rip out their organs. Sasaki’s eyes widened as he realized what he was thinking. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts he started to realize that something was seriously wrong. As he was about to ask the quinx to stop Urie quickly charged him using his sword like kagune and jabbed him through the stomach. The last thing Sasaki remembered before passing out was seeing the quinx’s terrified faces and feeling a malicious grin come to his face.

Saiko realized that Sasaki wanted to say something and was about to warn Urie but he charged off to quickly wanting to prove that he was stronger. ‘Oh well’ thought Saiko ‘If he really wanted to tell us something he would have said it quicker.’ While Saiko knew that Sasaki was most likely going to be caught off guard by the surprise attack she didn’t think that he would actually get hit so when she saw the kagune easily go right through her mentor’s stomach she was horrified. She couldn’t see the look on Urie’s face but by his bodily motions she could tell that he was surprised as well. “URIE REMOVE YOUR KAGUNE!!!” screamed Shizaru desperately not wanting to see his beloved mentor die right in front of his eyes and by a teammate no less. When Urie finally got over the shock of actually hitting Sasaki he ripped his kagune out while the others came to check on Sasaki’s state. As Sasaki fell to the ground Saiko swore that she saw a malicious grin on her mentors face.

As Shizaru was running to his mentor he stopped, his eyes wide with fear. While the others didn’t seem to notice it the bloodlust that had previously been in the air had thickened and was almost suffocating. All of the quinx were to concerned to emit such bloodlust so that meant….. “F*ck” cursed Shizaru under his breath “EVERYBODY GET AWAY FROM HIM NOW!!!!” screamed Shizaru hoping that his message had made it in time. As the confused quinx stepped back the bloodlust grew thicker and they started to understand what was going on. A loud laugh emitted throughout the room as Sasaki started to rise, a strange purple misty like material forming around him. “Y’know” said Sasaki in a distorted voice “It’s going to take a lot more than that scratch to keep me down, RiGht?”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SASAKI IS TRAINING THE QUINX TO USE THEIR KAGUNE TODAY?!” Screamed Dr.Ricana eyes full of worry. Arima was surprised by the sudden outburst but responded anyway. “Sasaki needed to help the quinx grow and one way would be to help them grow comfortable with using their kagune so he decided that today would be the day to train them.” Dr.Ricana started pulling at his hair and scratching his arms and neck until they turned a bright shade of red(this is actually what I do when I get stressed). “If Sasaki is set in a situation like that there is a huge chance that if he gets injured the other side of him will take over.” 

“S-Shizaru what’s h-happening?” asked Mutsuki in a frightened voice “I’ve never seen Sasaki like this.” While Sasaki had shown a terrifying side of himself during the battle with serpent he still protected them. Right now Mutsuki felt like Sasaki would kill him if he moved. ”W-what’s wrong?” asked Sasaki “W-why are you looking at me like that?” Mutsuki could almost hear his heart being ripped in half. ‘If I go to help him I might get hurt or even worse killed!’ thought Mutsuki ‘Although I’m not sure if I could live with the guilt of seeing him suffer like this.’ As the Quinx watched helplessly they realized that their mentor was only getting worse. The black part of his two toned hair seemed to be becoming lighter with every passing second and it didn’t help that Sasaki kept scratching and clawing at his face, seeming like he was attempting to pull off an invisible mask. Shizaru’s eyes widened as he screamed “SOMEONE CALL ARIMA NO OR WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the cliffhanger :). I really don't know ho this story is going to end so expect a few more chapters and possibly a sequal so stay tuned!


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